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1 Aug 2018

S*xcapades With My Creepy CIA Boyfriend - Chronicles Of A Distressed Omobutty

Okay I know it's been a while I dropped anything in my chronicles and I'm so sorry no one told me after school and NYSC life will be like this. God! I'm busy 24/7 and most times don't even know the day or date sef. But the trials of adulthood won't keep me from life's drama.

Looking at the title I'm sure recurrent readers are shaking their heads at me, well SMH at you too eyin eyan mi.

Not only am I a nerd with my thick glasses due to my 6/20 eyesight, I'm also a gadget freak and practically sleep with my laptop on my bed. With so many apps open, I'm never sure about where what is coming from so my desktop is often times over crowded with different notifications.

I have always been free with my laptop and as a young lady living alone, wearing clothes at home has never been a necessity. In fact, from work I look forward to going home so I can take off all the encumbrance enforced by society.
But one day, I got home, turned on my home laptop and was sitting in all my naked glory on the head of my couch when suddenly the webcam light on my laptop came on. What a wawu! I haven't turned on Skype and my camera isn't on. Why is this light now on?? After a while sha, it went off. But after that day, I became conscious and noticed the light always came on like three times a day. Whenever it did, I would do something crazy, sometimes stand up and strut in the front of my laptop. Don't judge me, boredom during NYSC was a lifestyle ๐Ÿ˜’.

All these continued for months so I started thinking of it as a CIA agent doing what the CIA does but always coming to my laptop because I know how to put on a show. So days went by  and I was in the nude whenever my webcam came on. Even told my best friend I had a stalker.

The day I found out the truth I wanted to cry. Tired of playing games with my stalker I decided to find the root of the problem. So immediately the light came on that day, I started closing all my programs to know from which my webcam was getting turned on from. After like 15 minutes, it hit me.

I have this android for windows app, Bluestacks. On it I had one whatsapp account that I rarely used and everytime the light came on it was someone trying to video chat with me.

Gosh, I felt foolish. All my strutting and naked attitude ashey it's unwanted video calls that was giving me joy. Then came the feeling of gratitude that my nudes were not be viewed by someone somewhere in the world but also the pang of regret that those few seconds of happiness messing around with my laptop in the day gave me were gone. I wish I never knew the truth, knowledge isn't always power sometimes it spells the end of fun. Though somewhere deep down, I hold on to the fact that my CIA boyfriend was looking at me too and if you're reading this baby, don't worry ama show you what I got again sometime soon!

OK let me be going, my boss has started parading again like soldier. Who told me to grow up sef? ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’




Written By: Shalz Ekelaka (Content Writer, 247NNU)
shalzekelaka@gmail.com
Facebook: Shalz Ekelaka
Instagram: @mzshalzekelaka

Chronicles Of A Distressed Omobutty is a compendium of the life experiences of an omobutty in the city of Lagos.

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