25 Sep 2017

Do you know that Devil is real? See Proof From Trending Women Dresses

I like clothes, I love shopping, I get the whole creative artisty thing. But these shoe-trousers (henceforth known as shoe-trews because that’s a funnier name) are making me think that perhaps fashion has gone too far.
Please take a moment and look at them. Just stare right at them and absorb them. Drown in the fact that they are both a shoe and a trouser and because of this they are neither truly a shoe, nor a trouser.

We have so, so many questions.

Firstly: sizing. Does this mean that there’s an infinite combination of shoe and waist sizes for these trousers? Or do you just have to hope that you’ve got the right waist size for your feet?
Next, what on earth do you do about washing them? Do you have to wash the shoe bits as well? Or do they sneakily pop off so you can shove them in the washing machine? Or can you just never wash them and have to spend the rest of forever colouring in stains with red nail polish and spritzing the crotch with perfume?
And lastly (perhaps most importantly) how the f*ck has Net a Porter almost completely sold out of these stretchy red stiletto Satan shoes which cost nearly two grand?
We can only assume that they have one very wealthy and extremely loyal consumer.

We’re not saying it’s definitely HIM from the Powerpuff girls, but we’re also not saying it’s not.
If you’re feeling confused about how you’d wear these babies, luckily Net a Porter has provided some helpful guidance about them, saying:
‘A standout piece from the runway and one of the season’s cult styles, these lustrous stretch-satin pants are cut for a smooth, second-skin feel and grounded by a pair of built-in stilettos. Let them peek through the slit of a midi dress or robe.’

Cool. Sadly they don’t have any in stock in my size, but if you’ve got two grand lying around and want to have bright red trotters, you know what to do.

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