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18 Aug 2017

Chronicles Of A Distressed Omobutty: My NYSC Diary

In life, everyone talks about life changing experiences and what not, I on the other hand have always taken life as it comes....with a lot of underground planning and suppositions cuz I'm crazy like that, but yeah, life as it comes. So it was no big change or surprise or excitement sef when my name came out as part of the 2017 Batch A corps members whose turn it was to "obey the clarion call".
In fact I can categorically say, without any oga at the top, that my family members were more excited and nervous about the three weeks I would spend on camp than I was. The major thoughts that had been swirling in my head were no work ergo no money at the end of the month, no pizza or chicken wings, I will miss the opening of Wonder Woman and Pirates Of The Carribean at IMAX, I will be deprived the general comforts of privacy and hell! I will have to talk to more people!...if that last thought tickles you wrongly, I promise to care soon enough.

So with these thoughts in my head, I boarded a vehicle to Sagamu, Ogun State where I had been posted. Thankfully not far from Lagos. Rolling my compact box towards the gate of the orientation camp, the first wave of nervousness hit me because it all suddenly seemed to real. Right there in the middle of the express was a huge compound guarded by soldiers and officers of the Nigerian Civil Defense Corps, a compound I would not be allowed to leave for the next 21 days.

As I made my way to the gate the different stories I had heard about NYSC camp started coming at me with full speed; drills, mean soldiers, thieves, boys, sickness, more recently people dying, terrible food and so on. By the time I got to the female officer who would search my box for contraband at the front of the gate, I was such a nervous wreck it took all my willpower not to tuck tail and run for the hills.

Hearing the gate clang shut behind me as I stepped into the Ogun Orientation Camp after the checkpoint, I managed to pull myself together because no how no how, I was in and this Omobutty, as Distressed as I was, would remain there for the next 21 days.

Before I could gather myself very well and put on the fake smile that was always on my beck and call I was accosted, in fact attacked, by a wave of overzealous photographers wanting me to register with them. Series of "baby look here" "Excellency is here" "Take it baby" "let me give it to you baby", Ogun corpers will know what I mean. The laughter that bubbled up inside me from the funny comments I was hearing was definitely not fake. I was so put at ease and had my first favourable thought about the next three weeks. Although I did not sign with anyone that day, two were useful in helping me with my bags....who am I to turn down some manpower eh?

Lost in the short euphoria brought by the the photographers and my jumbled thoughts I had been unable to take actual cognisance of the camp but after I had registered in the female hostel and secured a great bed space with pillow, working socket and under fan...believe me I have to list that out because it is a confirmed luxury in camp. Well after I had got all that, I decided to go see "wetin dey sup" in the acclaimed "Five star camp".

Mmmm, did I mention that before I came to camp I was already talking to one fine bobo lai that, una audience know me na, I no dey carry last. Erm, anyways I sha went to meet man on my first day in camp and that's all you are going to hear about him, amebo like you...for now.


Written By: Shalz Ekelaka (Content Writer, 247NNU)
shalzekelaka@gmail.com
Facebook: Shalz Ekelaka
Instagram: @mzshalzekelaka

Chronicles Of A Distressed Omobutty is a compendium of the life experiences of an omobutty in the city of Lagos.

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