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Sunday, 27 November 2016

Ladies, Stop Sending Out Your N*de Photos

Onuora Onianwa writes in warning to ladies who frequently engage in the act of sending n*de photos to their lovers...

Sometime back, I was on my way to drop off some items for a friend. I was on a bus and settled in at the back and two male youth corps members got in after me and sat beside me. The journey had not been long when they began a very loud discussion on girls and relationships. I normally listen to music but on that day, I wasn’t with my earphones, so, I was treated to story after story of their sex lives, and then the talk shifted to “passing girls around.”

These two young men were actually engaged in a serious discussion about the different girls that they slept with and dumped. These guys were not only talking about who they passed to whom after they had finished with the girls, they were actually sharing messages and pictures in the bus! This issue of ladies giving out nude pictures to random guys that they are dating and then ending up in trouble later on is something I have talked and written about many times and very few people actually believe it.

Nothing was sacred. I had to even look over to be sure this wasn’t some ruse but there it was. Pictures, chats and all! One even declared in vulgar terms that he hates it when he has slept with a lady and gotten tired of her, then passes her to one of his friends and she messes up that new relationship; that is if you can even call that a relationship in the first place!

He says such a girl was being foolish and that if she would only behave herself and also gives the new guy all the sex and attention he wants, she may end up marrying him. I found it very shocking that someone with a functioning brain could actually say such not to talk of thinking about it.

For him, what he has done is alright and has no bad side but the lady in question is wrong for deciding not to sleep with some new guy?

It did not end there. The other corps member agreed with him and said such girls were just noise-makers and horrible individuals. In his opinion, they should be happy and sleep with the new boyfriend, wash, cook and clean for him and then she could see if they had a future together. When I see such people, I often wonder and sometimes ask if they would be happy to see their own sister in such a position. Who raises these boys and what are they teaching them?

Those two were actually praising themselves as gods, masters of sex and deception (since the girls didn’t know they were “used” and dumped with style then stylishly handed over for “reuse” by another person) and yet they were offended that the new guy the ladies are with do not get sexed up too and waited on? Is that not a high level of foolishness and brazen stupidity?

I keep telling ladies to be careful with such guys but some will never listen. If you want to wash, cook and steam up his bed all day and night, no problem. It is your life, but do not think this is not exactly how some of you end up – passed around like a used rag from guy to guy. Not every guy is worth your time and attention! Do not be so desperate to be in a relationship, loved and married that you just settle for any Temi, Ayo or Uche! Have standards! Use your head for goodness sake!

I don’t, for a second, doubt that many ladies sleep with such guys, cook and clean for them and then may end up marrying the person.  I won’t twist it to suit my personal beliefs but, it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of time it doesn’t work that way. Ladies need to be careful.  The corps members I talked about have naked pictures, recordings and chats of girls they had slept with and records of how they were transacted like money from one guy to the other.

Who’s to say they won’t use them tomorrow to disgrace them or get money from them? Is it worth it?

- Written by Onuora Onianwa

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