10 Oct 2016

My First Experience With A Mad Man In Lagos - A Distressed Omobutty

Friday, 7th October is not a day I will forget anytime soon. There are so many stories and shared experiences we hear of in life but never think for one day we will be the ones having to share the testimony.
By 5:17pm that Friday I was rushing out of my office in Yaba, thinking of the next two to three hours I will spend on the Lekki-Epe expressway. Luckily for me, once I got to the busstop at my office I saw an almost full Obalende bus and jumped inside it, little did I know that I was about to go and have the scare of my life that evening.

Dropping off from the bus in Obalende, I made my way through the traffic to the place I would get a bus heading towards Ajah. With my earpiece on, blasting J-Cole's song and slightly wiggling my hips on the road, I was startled when a felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a brash voice say "fine girl, come let me kiss you". Turning back in anger, prepared to insult the life of that tout that had dared to touch me, I screamed in fright when I saw a mad man smiling back at me...with his hand still on my shoulder.

God! The way I turned and ran ehn! It's only God who can tell how I did not get knocked down by oncoming traffic. As I saw the man's bearded mouth, with his sickly yellow teeth piercing through the dirt and grime on his face I turned and ran. Jumping into the road and sprinting to the other side of traffic. Looking back I was terrified to see this man chasing after me.

The only thing going through my mind then was "Shally, you will not be kissed by a mad man in this life", I was still contemplating where to run to that the man cannot follow, as I ws stuck undecided practically in the middle of the road, a bus conductor practically carried me and dumped me inside in bus saying "sister no worry, e no fit enter here". As the bus pulled out Obalende,  I turned back to see the mad man waving at the bus and screaming obscenities at us.

This experience did not become funny to me till I got to Ikoyi Club, then it began to replay in my mind. I saw the faces of the okada riders and keke drivers laughing at me, the occupants of the Jeep I jumped in front off both alarmed and laughing at the drama playing before them, the face of the conductor and other peope in the us I was carried in and most engrained of all in my memory was the face o the ad man, grinning at me saying "fine girl, come kiss me na"

I thought to myself, theere's no way I'm passing that place again, I would rather not work, then I smiled and said "this is the definition of living in Lagos". As I leave work today, God help anybody that tries to come to close to me, my senses are soooo hyper now ehn, I pity whoever bumps me anyhow this evening.

Written by: Shalz Ekelaka
Content Writer 247NNU



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