Dropping off from the bus in Obalende, I made my way through the traffic to the place I would get a bus heading towards Ajah. With my earpiece on, blasting J-Cole's song and slightly wiggling my hips on the road, I was startled when a felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a brash voice say "fine girl, come let me kiss you". Turning back in anger, prepared to insult the life of that tout that had dared to touch me, I screamed in fright when I saw a mad man smiling back at me...with his hand still on my shoulder.
God! The way I turned and ran ehn! It's only God who can tell how I did not get knocked down by oncoming traffic. As I saw the man's bearded mouth, with his sickly yellow teeth piercing through the dirt and grime on his face I turned and ran. Jumping into the road and sprinting to the other side of traffic. Looking back I was terrified to see this man chasing after me.
The only thing going through my mind then was "Shally, you will not be kissed by a mad man in this life", I was still contemplating where to run to that the man cannot follow, as I ws stuck undecided practically in the middle of the road, a bus conductor practically carried me and dumped me inside in bus saying "sister no worry, e no fit enter here". As the bus pulled out Obalende, I turned back to see the mad man waving at the bus and screaming obscenities at us.
This experience did not become funny to me till I got to Ikoyi Club, then it began to replay in my mind. I saw the faces of the okada riders and keke drivers laughing at me, the occupants of the Jeep I jumped in front off both alarmed and laughing at the drama playing before them, the face of the conductor and other peope in the us I was carried in and most engrained of all in my memory was the face o the ad man, grinning at me saying "fine girl, come kiss me na"
I thought to myself, theere's no way I'm passing that place again, I would rather not work, then I smiled and said "this is the definition of living in Lagos". As I leave work today, God help anybody that tries to come to close to me, my senses are soooo hyper now ehn, I pity whoever bumps me anyhow this evening.
Written by: Shalz Ekelaka
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