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Monday, 17 October 2016

More Nigerians Say It Is President Buhari That Belongs To The Kitchen – By Dr. Peregrino Brimah

President Buhari said and insisted that his wife Aisha belongs to his kitchen cabinet. Based on her forthrightness, honesty, and her boldness in battle against the crooked cabal and mafia who have again stolen Nigeria, many Nigerians agree that the first lady will be of better service to Nigeria than most people in the kitchen cabinet right now if she was in it. But in a surprising turn, a poll proved that more Nigerians believed the President, Muhammadu Buhari belongs to the domestic kitchen as he appears to be a great cook.
In the kitchen Buhari loves to cook. Since becoming president he has cooked many Nigerians. He has boiled the polity to scorching temperatures. He has sliced up ethnic and religious groups into fine cuisine-perfect pieces and roasted them to a golden brown crust.

In Onitsha he made pudding from pro-Biafrans, about 100 of them at a prayer ground were one of his great confectionary productions. It was well toasted and buried in hummus or is it humus.

In Kaduna, he made roasted Shia. Enough to feed a big party. It took him two days to make that meal and another two days to bury the secret so no one will know how good a cook he is.

Buhari likes to add spices. When he did not fully declare his assets and only gave a summary list, he added spices. When the war on Boko Haram was found to not yet be over, he spiced that up nicely. When he said he will name and shame looters of public funds on May 29th, he added spices and then added more spices and more spices again. When he said there will be no corrupt people in his cabinet, that was spices only, no meal. Or let us call it a meal of spices. Buhari is good with the spices.

Buhari is not a cheap cook. Buhari does not cook for everybody but only cooks for somebody. In fact he routinely cooks for three somebodys only: Godwin Emefiele, Aliko Dangote and Mamman Daura. Dass all!

President Buhari is really good with baking. He has dried and frozen the masses and used them as stuffing. He added copious amounts of leaven to the cabal, stuffed them with the masses and baked them to a splendid and breathtaking rise.

A great cook indeed is Nigeria’s President! Only Jonathan beat him in his ability to cook the nation.

–Dr. Peregrino Brimah; @EveryNigerian

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