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Sunday, 2 October 2016
Handling arguments: This is what you must know
No matter what happens, never lose your cool especially if your partner is all worked up. One of you has to be calm in order to keep the situation from worsening.
Giving the silent treatment to your partner during an argument is never the solution. In fact, it may even create more distance. It may come off as demeaning to the person on the receiving end, and even if they were trying to sort things out previously, they might not be as bothered any more. Regardless of how tense things are, never stop communicating. Discuss why you’re/they’re upset and what can be done about it.
Never bring up past conflicts
Always deal with the matter at hand without mentioning past issues. It only aggravates the situation. Bringing up something like that only shows that you never made peace with it even though you made them believe that it was settled.
Put your ego aside
Ego is so damaging to a relationship that it should be kept out of the equation. Do not let it ruin anything. There is no harm in being the first one to reach out after an argument even if you didn’t start it. If you both value your ego more than your relationship, then your relationship is bound to be doomed.
Choose your words wisely
Even if they are usually calm and composed, you need to understand that people tend to become volatile in an argument. Never say anything you don’t mean. Don’t be hurtful. If you still love them, know that an argument is just a minor hiccup. This will keep you from saying anything potentially damaging to the relationship.
Keep the tone of your voice in check
Even if something harsh needs to be said, saying it in the right tone would have the intended effect rather than the wrong one. Your words should not reek of hatred, sarcasm or disapproval. This never helps and only drives the person away.
Don’t be stubborn
It isn’t a bad thing to be opinionated. However, you should be open to the fact that your opinions may be wrong. In times of conflict, your judgment may be clouded and you may fail to see your errors. Don’t be bent on imposing your opinions on your partner. Give them a chance to speak and hear them out with an open mind.
Don’t lose perspective
Don’t get carried away with the argument. Keep reminding yourself that the relationship holds more importance for you than the argument. With this in mind, you’ll save yourself from saying too much or going too far. If you feel that things are getting too heated up, just put a sock in it.