Friday, 30 September 2016

My First Experience In A Lagos Danfo - A Distressed Omobutty

Hmmm, after this week I can rightly agree that there is a difference between staying in Lagos and actually living in Lagos, for many years my people, I have been staying in Lagos not living in it. This fateful Tuesday morning I experienced what I have never experienced before.

Waking up late with a raging headache was definitely not part of my plans when I went to bed at night but I guess life always has a way of rendering plans useless yeah?  Well waking late and sickly, I missed my morning ride to work with my brother and had to take Danfo to work.

Walking down my street, jumping roadside pools that rain has created in Lekki, and at the same time trying to hold on to my umbrella which the wind so desperately wanted. Yeah, did I mention it was raining too?

To cut long story short, I got a bus to enter, almost empty, i was overjoyed, little did I know that I was in for a most memorable ride. I don't know if the hounds of hell were after the driver or if he was trying to outrun his problems but by the time we reached Ikate I realised that I have entered original bus today.

In all his gragra, this driver had been recieving curses and insults throughout the drive and it took all my willpower not to start shouting God forbid from my sit at the back. As the journey continued, the man almost hit a bike down but got off with a warning from the bike rider. I thought that was all little did I know that life had much more in store for me that day. Before we could move 10 feet in the traffic, this driver of mine decided to go and ram the biker that warned him, you know to scare him just a bit.

Kasala did not burst till the biker came down and under his raincoat was full army camouflage. Chai! My bus driver chop beating that day! I didn't even know how to pity the guy, all that was on my mind was my 800 naira change that was still in his hand. After all the roadside beating and slapping from the soldier man, this driver was dragged to LASTMA stand where his keys were seized. After about 30 minutes of beating, we were sha released.

Not one to have a good day, this my bus driver at Lekki toll gate decided to lose parts of his bus that were still existing. First he did battle of wills with another bus driver and not only lose his spot on the road but also lost his rearview mirror. Not one to accept defeat so easily, this man proceeded to go and look for the trouble of a water tanker and that's how he scraped one whole side of the bus on the tanker, scaring we the dumbfounded passengers and losing his front bumper.

By the grace of God we arrived Obalende in one piece, by we I mean the passengers, the bus was practically in pieces when I alighted. For a first time experience,  I have been scared off public transport but I cannot lie you, there is this evil thrill in it that is pushing me to experience it again. What can I say, I might be butty but omo Naija shi ni mi mehn.

Written by: Shalz Ekelaka

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